I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
