So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
