I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
