and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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