I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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