Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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