The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
