First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize