I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
