Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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