Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize