i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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