Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
