I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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