we have officially lost it.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
