peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
