We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
