So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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