Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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