I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
