Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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