He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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