i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize