my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
