i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm passing your future prison.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
