my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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