I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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