thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize