Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
