sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
