bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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