YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
