Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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