3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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