i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize