you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
