normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
