Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize