I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
