It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Say something about gay babies.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
