once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You are a genius and a whore.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
