Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
