Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize