so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
