if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
