This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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