Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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