okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
