If i come over, it means nothing
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
