You're a womanizer and a bitch.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
