The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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