am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize