last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
