sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
