how can u be prego again
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
