pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
