Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
