laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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