i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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