White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
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