Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
why do cheetos always look like penises
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
